Behaviours That Undermine Effective Coaching

When developing new skills, people often look to others with lived experience – individuals who have overcome similar challenges and can offer guidance. These individuals, while well-intentioned, often step into training or coaching roles without structured preparation or a developed facilitation style. As a result, they may unintentionally apply ineffective methods that reduce their impact.

 

The following behavioural patterns are common among trainers, mentors and coaches and can undermine learning outcomes and team cohesion. Recognising and addressing them can significantly improve how you support others’ development.

 

Dismissive Attitudes

Some trainers rely solely on their personal experience, assuming their methods are universally applicable. They resist input from others and apply a fixed approach without adapting to the individual needs of learners.

 

Better Practice:

Begin by analysing how you overcame challenges yourself. Break down the steps you took and assess how they might differ from others’ approaches. Use this reflection to improve your understanding of what learning looks like from multiple perspectives. Accept that learners may choose not to share every detail of their development with you and that is acceptable. What matters is that you create a space where they can take responsibility for their growth and know that guidance is available when they need it.

 

Egotistical Behaviour

Trainers who attribute success only to their own input or deflect responsibility for setbacks can become unapproachable. This limits honest communication and discourages learners from asking questions or sharing difficulties.

 

Better Practice:

Examine how your communication style may influence those around you. If a participant is not progressing, explore whether your methods align with their needs. Ask targeted questions and focus on understanding their process, rather than imposing deadlines or outcomes. Encourage collaboration and share learning strategies without judgment. Avoid public comparisons or criticism and instead offer constructive input that supports progress.

 

Lack of Empathy

Failure to recognise the emotional and psychological needs of your learners can lead to disengagement. People who feel dismissed or misunderstood are less likely to continue learning or to benefit from your input.

 

Better Practice:

Start by managing your own emotional state before engaging with others. Your ability to recognise and regulate your own emotions will allow you to support others more effectively. Encourage open expression while maintaining boundaries and clarity. Emotional awareness builds trust and allows for more honest exchanges during challenging moments. Maintain a calm, consistent presence and demonstrate confidence in your knowledge and approach.

 

Holding Grudges

When trainers allow past comments or interactions to influence current engagement, they risk undermining the learning environment for everyone involved.

 

Better Practice:

Avoid generalising negative behaviour. If a remark causes offence, address it privately in a neutral setting. Aim to understand the intention behind the comment before responding. This approach allows for a professional resolution while maintaining respect. If multiple individuals are involved, speak with them individually to avoid reinforcing conflict or group division. Focus on building a work culture that prioritises growth, not personal disputes.

 

Tolerating Unproductive Dynamics

Allowing unresolved conflict or competition to persist within a group can disrupt learning and reduce morale.

 

Better Practice:Address issues directly and without delay. Speak with each party individually to understand the root of the problem. Then facilitate a group discussion where participants can express their perspectives calmly and constructively. Maintain consistency in how you address issues and avoid tailoring your feedback to please everyone. Set a clear standard for conduct and ensure your own behaviour aligns with it.

 

Inconsistent Methods

Frequent, unplanned changes to delivery methods confuse learners and reduce the effectiveness of your sessions. Without consistency, participants may struggle to follow the training structure or to retain information.

 

Better Practice:

Establish a clear training framework based on learners’ strengths and areas for improvement. Define learning outcomes at the start of the course and build each session around these goals. Collect feedback regularly and allow time for reflection before asking for evaluations. Transparency in your methods and objectives ensures that participants know what to expect and how to measure their own progress. Consistency builds trust in your approach and strengthens engagement.

 

Overworking Yourself and Others

When trainers push through long sessions without breaks or fail to model balance, they contribute to burnout, both their own and that of the group.

 

Better Practice:

Set clear boundaries between work and personal time and encourage your learners to do the same. Structure your sessions with scheduled breaks and consider individual energy levels. For example, introverted learners may benefit from quiet, independent breaks, while extroverted learners may prefer group interaction. At the end of each session, allow a short transition period to mentally detach from the training environment. Whether online or in person, brief moments of quiet or reflection can help ensure that neither you nor your learners carry session-related stress into your personal time.

 

 

Effective trainers, mentors and coaches recognise that their behaviour directly impacts how others learn. By addressing common yet avoidable patterns such as rigidity, inconsistency, or emotional disengagement, you can create a learning environment grounded in respect, clarity and stability. The aim is not to become an ideal leader, but to remain aware of your influence and to refine your methods with intention and care.